Distance

As the crow flies, our family is seperated by 6889 miles. Not quite half a world away, but close enough. Time passes and things change and the world continues to go on, without even a thought on what has changed before it. I could tell you how I've cried myself to sleep or wished that Jonathan was able to give me a hug when I needed it the most. Or how my heart breaks everytime Anna and Gage ask for their Daddy. But, I won't. You know that and I know that. There have been some sad times for this family, a lot of hard times. There are always the good times though.

You think that being 6889 miles away would change your priorites. That somehow the basics of what Jonathan needs are just different. It is the same; food, shelter, and entertainment. Sure, Jonathan eats the same thing day after day, week after a week and on a schedule that would even drive an OCD person crazy. Rather than a bed, he gets a cot, yuck. With a room that he has to share. Nothing he has is private, nothing is just his alone. As for entertainment, they are stuck with whatever they can get on their maybe four channels and if the internet is working, the possibilites are almost endless.

We, as in the children and I, live for that moment everyday when the phone rings. Daddy has he own special ringer, so the kids come running when they hear it. Talking to him, is like getting a lifeline everyday. I get the opportunity to fill Jonathan in on what he missed, and try to fit it in only 5 minutes. We never know how long we get to talk. No matter how long we do talk, we always say I love you, that can never be rushed. On the days that Jonathan isn't able to call, I feel myself sinking, my hand on the phone the rest of the day just hoping.

OK, getting to the good. Gage's face lights up when he hears his Daddy's voice. He can pick Jonathan's face out an any picture. He woke me up this morning by running into my room and saying "I wuv yu Dada!" Anna has several conversations with her Dad every day, either real or imaginary. She plays games with him and has an entire memory of her Daddy playing with her or talking her to the park. They love him unconditionally and that has never changed. Him being in the next room or thousands of miles away, they still love him the same.