Burnt Out

I am exhausted and tired and so so so close.

I've been able to hold it together this long and now I feel myself slipping more everyday. I know when he is coming home and I know that everything will be amazing when he gets here. Its just getting to that point is killing me. I can't eat, I can't sleep and all I think about is making everything perfect.

I understand that he doesn't care if the house if perfect, I do. I also understand that he wants me to calm down and relax. But what I don't understand is how. I really don't.

I'll be fine. Just one night of sleep longer than 3 hours, and my outlook on life would improve. Until then, just coffee and more coffee. Trying to stay awake to watch the kids and then clean some more.